The big Unga-Bunga

Hmmm, an unexpected promotion, turns out to be a gigantic negative. Death by Unga Bunga.

A couple of weeks ago, the Dude got a late ping on a Friday from his boss. Did the Dude have a few minutes to talk? Of course.

The Dude’s Boss had good news. A pay grade promotion, a modest raise, and a chunk of RSU’s. Totally unexpected. The Dude made it clear to his boss that he wasn’t looking to advance. He doesn’t want to ever manage people again, and that really is the only next step in his career. The Dude is happy doing what he does, and only wants to survive the next decade, doing what he’s doing.

So, why the promotion?

The Dude was thankful, and happy. He has been told by many of his peers that he ought to be at least 2 pay grades higher. Yay.

Then comes an announcement. A new leader for our group has been chosen, and it is someone who has bupkis experience in product management. No prior time in the role, no familiarity, nada. In fact, it is someone who one of the Dude’s peers goes head-2-head against (and not in a good way) so there are instant personality conflicts (the Dude has little prior direct working with this person, so it is neutral to him).

Needless to say, the Dude is shocked. The Dude wasn’t asked for his advice. But the Dude’s old boss had a specific need, and this person fills it. That need is not product management focused.

Why the Unga-Bunga?

The Dude would choose this time to look for another role within the company. His company is very good about allowing (hell encouraging) employees to move within the company.

But, the grade level promotion makes it impossible for the Dude to avail himself of the internal job board. The rules prevent him from moving for a calendar year from the date of his promotion.

What the Dude’s boss has done was tie the Dude’s hands and lock him into place for a full fucking year. No matter how fucking awful it is.

Well, not entirely. The Dude could take the powder, and leave. The Boss seems to think that a smallish block of RSUs will be enough to entice the Dude to stay.

But the Dude’s boss doesn’t realize that the Dude has walked away from stock grants that ended up being worth $250K before without looking back. Shitty places to work, and shitty conditions are not worth staying for for ANY amount of money or stock futures.

Fuck. So it is time to tune the resume.

What the Fuck is Unga-Bunga?

It is an old joke. Google it.

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