Executive Fluffing

NSFW warning. Imagine being a professional Executive Fluffer. They do exist, and lawdy, the Dude doesn't envy them.

Executives are not like the rest of us. The Dude has said this before, and has defended this position multiple times. But yesterday, he experienced another executive quirk, the “Fluffer”

If you get offended easily, now is the time to bail out on this post, and to go read about puppy dogs playing with kittens or some such shit.

In the video Pornography industry, the adult actors and actresses need to perform on cue, and that means getting their erogenous tissues “ready.”

To help keep the production moving along, there are people who - ah - help the talent get ready. These people are called “Fluffers.”

Now, the Dude has long suspected that executives had some sort of pre-game ritual, akin to streamlining the meetings so that the executive’s precious time is not wasted. I mean, there are only so many hours in the day, and those yacht purchases need some research…

Yesterday, he was party to such fluffing.

There is a coming review and approval meeting. The Dude’s product/project needs to get through this stage so he can ship the fucking thing. So he built a simple slide deck for this meeting.

But the Dude doesn’t get to present it. No, the executive (a Senior Vice President) only has Vice Presidents, or at the worst, Senior Directors present to him. No mere mortals need apply here.

So the Dude got his boss ready, and in the pre meeting, he got to meet this “Fluffer” who has/had helpful tips. Don’t oversell. Don’t get pedantic. Don’t make the SVP feel stupid.

The Dude can’t even be ON the call where his product is approved for shipment.

How fucking wack is that?

Yes, Executives are not like you or me. And the Dude is OK with that. He could never be such a pretentious asshole to need a full time person to preflight his meetings to ensure that they are smooth, and hiccup free. Life is chaotic. Embrace that chaos.

Fluffer, Executive Administrative Assistant, Presentation coach, Leadership mentor, all people who are paid handsome salaries to keep the Executive in a cocoon, away from the little people.

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